Two Months and Counting

As I write this, Dan is resting in the comfy patio chair outside, taking advantage of an unusually mild August day in Boise.  We have passed by the dreaded two month mark, and Dan is still fighting hard.  He is still up and walking, but now with the assistance of a walker.  The stiffness in his muscles and neuropathy in his legs and feet has gotten worse. He is still carefully navigating the stairs, but I don't think we are too far from putting the stair lift back in to use.  This past week we've noticed a decrease in his energy level and the need to nap more.  Right now they are still little cat-naps through the day, with a longer nap after lunch. He is still eating regularly, though not quite as much as before.  Everything just seems to be slowing down a bit, which is what we knew was likely to happen.

With the new changes coming about, it brings us into a new grief period. Dan had been doing so well, bolstered by the increase in steroids. He was able to stay active and engaged and it is all too easy to get comfortable in the scenario, trying not to focus too much on what's ahead.  But the slowing of Dan's body is a daily reminder that our time is limited and will all too quickly come to an end. The past two days Jack has been very focused on the idea that "daddy isn't going to be here very much longer" and I sometimes wonder if he senses more urgency than Dan and I are willing to accept. With Dan's condition, no one can give us a definite time line and we are left to wonder what the timing of the next phase will be. All we can do is take each day as it comes and pray for a peaceful end to Dan's journey when God decides it is time.

Thank you everyone for your love, support, and prayers-

Jen