When I was finalizing the schedule for Dan's funeral service on Friday I considered, for a brief moment, speaking at the service. I quickly came to my senses in that I will be much too emotional to speak in front of a group, and that the message of my love for my husband would be lost. So it is here that I give my eulogy to the amazing man I was blessed to call my husband and best friend.
Dan and I met on match.com; it has been fodder for many years amongst he and I. After speaking for a couple of weeks we realized that he was a regular member of the downtown YMCA, where I also worked. We likely had crossed paths before, but in the hustle of getting in and out, hadn't stopped to notice. I always believed we were destined to meet. Dan won me over with his kind spirit, infectious laugh, love for life, and the candy that he brought to me before each date…better than flowers! Ironically, it was a cancer scare with me that moved along our wedding plans. We realized that life could be short and what was the point of dragging out a long engagement?
The next few years were spent exploring…exploring by travel, exploring in melding two lives together, and exploring our faith. While I had always believed in God, I was not a student of the bible. Dan very much was. I was often in awe of the scripture he could recite or the passages he could reference off the top of his head. He loved the lord, and while he wasn't one to push or preach, he was always happy to share with someone interested. This was where I struggled. When Dan and I first married, I couldn't pray out loud with him. Even if no one else was in the room. I was self conscious. Dan was gentle and encouraging and over time praying together became a source of centering and support. His love for the Lord was demonstrated everyday.
Our life together was filled with adventure and fun. Dan was always on the move, wanting to share his love of all things outdoors. Once I was properly outfitted with all the correct gear, I grudgingly admitted that there could be joy and entertainment found in all four seasons. No adventure was bigger or more rewarding than becoming parents. The love and pride that radiated off Dan from the moment that Jack entered this world was unmatched, even by myself. For those of you who don't know-Jack was a horrible sleeper for about the first two years of his life. Dan would put him in the Baby Bjorn, wrap him in blankets and spend an endless amount of time walking around our neighborhood, all the while talking to him. As Jack grew, the experiences grew….swimming in the river, fishing, skiing, and even white water rafting. But Dan enjoyed the everyday things just as much. There was no hesitation in running through the sprinkler, or searching for bugs in the garden. Bath and story times were moments to be cherished. Never a day went by without telling Jack how proud he was of him.
When we received Dan's cancer diagnosis it was like a gut punch. How does this happen to a healthy 45 year old man? To add insult to injury, Dan faced the arduous task of having to relearn to walk as a side effect of his tumor surgery. Despite all the treatments, therapy sessions, and doctor's appointments, Dan never stopped fighting. His determination to live and continue to be a part of our world is beyond what anyone would have expected. What could have broken him, us, or our family, was handled with such grace and determination that only God himself could have bestowed. We traveled, rafted, entertained friends and family, and ate more dessert than is probably healthy. But most importantly, over the last 21 months, he lived. And we cherished every moment of it.
I feel so incredibly blessed to have spent the last 10 years with Dan. I know that I am forever changed by him, and I couldn't be more grateful. His love for me was unconditional and in this day that is all too rare of an occurrence. The loss of Dan is profound, sometimes suffocating. But I know, without question, that I will see him again someday in heaven. Like Dan, Jack has a very strong faith in God and we've had many conversations this week about daddy being with Jesus. He is certain that daddy is now an angel and I think he is probably right. And there is comfort, in knowing that Dan is watching over all of us….smiling that big grin with the dimples and basking in the light of the Lord.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
Psalm 91:11
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