Heartbreaking

As I sit here writing this post, which I have been putting off for much of the day, I am watching over my beautiful husband in a hospital bed who is losing his battle with cancer. Over the past two months the hospice team has repeatedly told us that brain tumors/cancer in younger patients is hard to predict, but that they expected he'd be walking/talking one day and hit a wall the next.  That is exactly what happened.  In the past 3 days Dan has deteriorated from sleeping off and on, but still able to eat and have basic discussions to now bedridden and drifting in and out of consciousness.  Today he has eaten and drank very little. Mentally, he isn't ready to give up the fight but his body is shutting down.  When he wakes up briefly, the conversations are random and sometimes incoherent.  He is no longer able to talk on the phone, respond to email, or text conversations. Our hospice nurse expects by the end of the week that he will be completely unresponsive and that it won't be much beyond that before he passes.

My heart just continues to break- over watching Dan deteriorate, over Jack losing his father, over me losing my best friend.  Even with all the time that we have had to prepare, for which we are so grateful, I cannot fathom my life without him.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out, not only the past several days, but over the last 21 months of our journey.  I appreciate all the prayers and kind words, and while I don't have the energy right now to respond back to everyone, please know that I am grateful.  Dan, Jack, and I are beyond blessed to have such amazing friends and family to see us through this.

Please continue to pray for us and I will keep you updated over the next few days.

Much love,

Jen